Breakups are hard even when kids aren’t involved. However, separation of parents can be traumatic for children. How parents communicate with each other and what the child experiences throughout the separation process will have a huge impact on their lives going forward. Fortunately, separation doesn’t need to mean disaster. Here are five ways that you can both be amazing parents even after you have separated.
1. Model Healthy Relationships
Just because you have broken up with your child’s other parent doesn’t mean you can’t model healthy relationships for them. Demonstrate through your own actions how your child should interact with other people. Include them in conversations with your family and friends, encouraging them to join in. You may fear that your separation will negatively impact their future relationships, but by modelling positive interactions, you can avoid this outcome.
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2. Listen to How Your Child Feels
Even the healthiest and most amicable separation can be hard on a child. Give them plenty of opportunities to express how it’s affecting them and truly listen to how they feel. Show them that adults are still reliable even if they are no longer together. Try not to put words in your child’s mouth or encourage them to think negatively about their other parent. Allow them to make up their own mind and listen without judgment.
3. Take a Class
You might feel as if you’re being expected to understand all of this intuitively. Of course, no one is born knowing how to manage a breakup and the challenges of raising a child at the same time. Services such as twohealthyhomes.com are there to help separated parents learn helpful ways of moving through a potentially difficult process with the least friction. There are classes you can take, either with or without your ex-partner, that teach you how to co-parent effectively. They are ideal for giving you that extra confidence in your parenting when you are going through a tough time.
4. Inform the Relevant People About Your Separation
Both you and your ex-partner should make sure to alert the necessary people about your separation and how it may cause changes in your child’s attitude. Different kids react in different ways and it is unfair to punish them for experiencing a major life event. Tell their teacher so they can be more understanding.
5. Know What is Appropriate to Share with Your Child
While it would make no sense to try and hide your separation from your child, this doesn’t automatically mean that they should now be privy to every detail. No matter how mature they may seem for their age, children are still children. Know when it is sensible to discuss the situation with them and what should be kept between the adults. For example, complaining about your ex-partner in front of your child can leave a negative impression.
Hopefully, these five points have helped you to see that you can still be a wonderful parent even once you and your partner have gone your separate ways.
